While some children are resilient and can handle their parents’ divorce relatively well, others suffer academically and socially as a result of a divorce. Unfortunately, worrying about how your divorce affects your children can make a stressful process much more difficult.
The effect of divorce on kids is a common concern. In fact, The U.S Census Bureau has collected extensive data on how divorce affects children. For example, more than half of American children will witness the end of their parent’s marriage and 28% of children will live through poverty as a result of divorce. Luckily, research shows that there are both negative and positive effects of divorce on children.
Divorce Affects Children’s Future Relationships
According to Scientific American, children experience short-term negative effects from divorce. However, research has also shown that a small number of adults who were children of divorced couples experience serious problems such as depression and relationship issues.
The current findings suggest that women whose parents divorced are more likely to enter marriage with relatively lower commitment to, and confidence in, the future of those marriages, potentially raising their risk for divorce. (Source)
The Academic Effects of Divorce on Children
Several studies show that children often fall behind in math upon their parents’ filing for divorce. In fact, children exposed to divorce are twice as likely to repeat a grade. Furthermore, studies from the early 1980s show that children who experienced divorce earned lower grades than their peers and were rated less pleasant to be around.
New research suggests divorce, not the discord leading up to it, can negatively impact kids’ performance at school. In a study of 3,500 children, those whose parents divorced between the first and third grade scored lower in math and had poorer interpersonal skills than those whose parents stayed married. (Source)
Potential Positive Lessons Children Learn From Divorce
Although divorce can certainly have a negative impact on children, some children of divorced parents experience positive effects of divorce. Oftentimes, they use these positive effects to improve their future.
Children of Divorce Often Develop Resiliency
Children with divorced parents often experience varying lifestyles of their separated parents. Therefore, these children must learn to adapt and develop coping strategies that children of non-divorced parents often learn later in life. When children are forced to overcome these obstacles and deal with change, they can become more resilient.
Children of Divorce Often Become More Self-Sufficient
Split families often result in economic challenges for single parents. For example, a parent may need to leave older children home alone after school or require more help with household chores. These situations can result in more self-sufficient and confident children.
Children of Divorce Often Develop More Empathy
Divorce can be shocking for children; however, it can also make them more sympathetic to the problems of those around them. Oftentimes, children of divorce are more empathetic with their peers because they have personally experienced a loss.
Children of Divorce May Spend More Quality Time With Parents
When parents are divorced, family time shifts to spending time with each parent separately. These separate times offer a different bonding experience as a child is able to spend personal time with each parent. Therefore, children often learn more about their mother and father as individuals in this environment.
Furthermore, divorced parents – particularly dads – tend to set aside more one-on-one time with their children. This devoted time results from the need to share custody and visitation.
Children of Divorce May View Marriage Differently
Children from divorced families have personally experienced the loss of a failed marriage. Luckily, this experience may provide them with a better perspective on the hard work of making a marriage successful. For example, some children of divorce have been known to spend more conscientious time focusing on how to make their marriage better than their parents’. On the other hand, some children of divorced parents decide not to get married at all.
Divorce is not easy on parents or children. If you are considering filing for divorce in California, contact A People’s Choice for help. We can draft and file your divorce papers at a very low cost. Plus, we can also refer you to counselors to help your family get through this tough time and adjust to your new family dynamic.