Divorce is nothing new. In fact, it’s been around for practically as long as marriage. It is derived from the Latin word “divortium,” which means separation. Although various countries interpret the word slightly differently, divorce all comes down to the same thing: separating from a spouse and moving on with your life.
It’s interesting to note that different countries have different divorce laws. While Western countries are more accepting, there are still some countries (like the Philippines) where the act of separating marital bond is prohibited. But if you’re in California and you’re experiencing a bad marriage, divorce is perfectly legal and may be the best option for you.
If you’re thinking about whether divorce is the right choice for you, you’ve come to the right article. We’ve covered the basics of divorce in California, when to get a divorce, and other helpful information below.
A Few Basics of the California Divorce
Before we dive deeper into the basics of divorce, it is important to note that divorce in California includes same-sex marriages. All married couples undergo the same process of divorce. Here are some other fundamentals to keep in mind.
Filing Requirements
Not everyone is eligible to get a California divorce. If you want one, you’ll need to meet the requirements.
The state of California has a residency requirement, so prior to filing, at least one spouse should be a resident of California for at least six months. Moreover, you should be living in a country where you file the petition for at least three months.
If you haven’t been a resident for long enough to qualify for a divorce, you may want to file for legal separation as a first step. You can then file for an amended petition for divorce in the country once either you or your spouse met the minimum requirements. There is also a mandatory six-month waiting period before the decision can be finalized.
No-Fault Divorce
California adopted the “no-fault” divorce in 1969. Under this concept, one party may file for the dissolution of marriage due to irreconcilable differences. That means the process may proceed even if the other party is not willing to undergo divorce. No-fault divorce is important because, until this law, it is easier for people to leave marriages where one person may be uncooperative or unwilling to seek divorce. This can happen for a variety of reasons ranging from religious objections to abuse.
When to Get a Divorce: Four Warning Signs and What to Do If You Spot Them
Some may argue that longevity is the best indicator of a successful marriage. However, even the longest marriages incorporating markers of success like careers and kids still get into trouble. This is always the case even despite seeking the help of a marriage counselor. It is important to be observant of the common signs even in what seems like a strong relationship.
Of course, it isn’t enough to just see the signs. But according to relationship experts, you must recognize them and know when it is time to take action. These are four key warning signs you may be headed for a divorce, along with what you can do if you notice them.
1. Lack of Communication
Communication is one of the key ingredients to a healthy and lasting relationship for a married couple. That is why when communication breaks down, the pillars of marriage tend to break down as well.
If you ever find yourself or your partner avoiding a conversation to avoid getting into an argument that goes nowhere, then this can be a red flag. This is primarily because neither party is willing to understand the feelings of the other party or to compromise. Communication is key in all healthy marriages.
A complication of this shortcoming is that a couple can start to avoid being physically together. They may also not wish to be around other people, such as friends and family, who may notice something is wrong. These are clear indications of a miserable marriage.
This problem can often be addressed through effective communication techniques. Not everyone grows up with a good model for communication, so learning them in a structured way can improve your communication skills and help you interact positively with your partner.
Concepts such as active listening, affirmation of grievances, and maintaining respect can keep an argument from escalating and help you and your spouse to reach a point of compromise. You can learn skills like these through a variety of websites, self-help books, courses, group meetings, or therapy sessions.
2. Lack of Intimacy
According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, sex is a physiological need. For married couples, sex is more than just an activity; it is a normal need that needs to be fulfilled, and it strengthens the bond of both parties.
More than just having sex, physical intimacy (such as kissing and cuddling) is also important as this leads to a strong connection. It makes both parties feel that their partner is just close to them. Physical touch is also crucial for persons who have this as their love language. A lack of intimacy is one of the biggest signs of a broken marriage.
The lack of intimacy creates a distance between two parties. To prevent this from happening, both parties should find time to practice intimacy and include this as a normal routine in your marital relationship. This often means reverting back to abandoned courtship rituals, such as going on dates and practicing small acts of kindness. If the lack of intimacy is due to bad communication as described in point 1, you may need to address that first before attempting to rekindle this part of your relationship.
3. Lack of Compromise
The beginning of a relationship often seems perfect, and even if there are disagreements, partners always try to find the middle ground. But when relationships reach a certain length, it gets complicated. When you or your partner feel the need to outright win an argument, then this can be a warning sign.
Relationships last long because couples are not aiming to win, but to settle in a point of compromise where the needs of both parties are recognized, understood, and fulfilled. Otherwise, this becomes a competition of who is right and who has power; hence leading to an unhappy relationship. Communication skills can help with this, as can acknowledging that your partner’s feelings are valid and that nobody is right all the time.
4. Toxic and Abusive Behavior
It is normal for couples to argue, but there is an important distinction between a normal spat and inappropriate (and sometimes dangerous and illegal) behavior. Notice how your partner behaves when they are triggered or upset; as they say, people are at their truest selves when they are mad. This may also be another indication of an unhappy marriage.
If your partner has ever hit or abused you, then it is a clear sign of a toxic marriage. Everyone would always want to co-exist in a healthy relationship. Your partner cannot make an excuse that they were just carried away. They may do the same in the future, so to protect yourself and any children involved, it’s best to extricate yourself from a situation like this immediately.
There are a wide variety of organizations out there dedicated to helping people who have experienced domestic abuse, so if you are being abused, assistance is available. You are not alone.
When to Get a Divorce: Questions to Ask Yourself
When you read the warning signs of divorce, you may have noticed that some of them look familiar. But these telltale signs should be taken with a grain of salt, as all relationships are different. Even seeing a few of these signs may not be enough to help you make up your mind. After all, this is a life-altering decision.
Aside from knowing and recognizing the signs, it is also important to ask yourself the following questions to assess whether divorce is the right answer for you.
1. Have you thoroughly and calmly talked about your problems with your partner?
Again, communication plays a pivotal role in a long-term relationship. If you haven’t yet tried this, it may be too early to jump to legal action. It may be impossible to think about having a level conversation where you try to reconcile with your partner, but as impossible as it may seem, it may be easier than going through the steps to get a divorce.
2. Would you be happier without your partner?
The divorce process is long and tedious. At times, during the divorce proceedings, some people may start feeling like they made the wrong choice. Plus, once the decision has been finalized, it can never be reversed. Are you certainly going to be happier and more comfortable without your partner? Or are you going to encounter a rough patch in the process? Sometimes, you may simply need to affect change or take some time for yourself so that your relationship issues can get sorted out with time.
3. How would divorce affect you and any children involved?
The divorce process can be painful and protracting. Couples who underwent divorce often experience emotional distress and depression. If ever you and your spouse have children, the consequences of divorce extend to your kids and your future relationships. A divorce may also be a difficult decision if you keep your children in mind.
This also means that the parenting time for your children will significantly get affected. When unprepared, children of divorced couples are likely to experience a depressed mood, academic difficulties, and engage in negative behaviors.
Of course, sometimes, this cannot be avoided, especially if it applies to an abusive relationship. Major decisions have to be made. However, if you feel you may be able to make your marriage work, it could potentially save you, your spouse, and your children from a lot of emotional pain associated with divorce. You could as well seek the services of a family therapist that will you in setting new life goals.
4. Have you explored the alternatives to divorce?
Is divorce the right answer to your problems? To help you decide whether divorce is the most appropriate solution for you, it is also helpful to explore alternative options. A divorce attorney could also provide proper guidance in this case. Check out the section below for details.
Alternatives to Divorce
Temporary Separation
A divorce decree is a permanent dissolution of marriage. If you happen to just need time and space to think, then a trial separation can be a good option for you. It is a physical separation where married couples spend time away from each other and without the intention of immediately filing for divorce. For some couples, the breathing room makes it easier to talk through key problems and appreciate the positive aspects of the relationship.
Summary Dissolution
If you have been married for less than five years, have no kids, do not own a real estate property, and have few debts and marital property, then you can undergo a simpler process: the summary dissolution. In this fast-track process, a trial or judicial intervention is waived, and any agreement between two parties is summarized in a settlement agreement. If you qualify for a summary dissolution, it is a far preferable option to a traditional divorce.
When to Get a Divorce: Making Your Choice
After carefully considering all the signs and questions, if you still believe that your marriage can no longer be saved, then perhaps it is time to file a petition for divorce and seek the guidance of a divorce lawyer. Since California implements the “no-fault” concept, you do not need to find fault or wait until your partner does something terrible before you proceed with the divorce. When you are sure that divorce is the right answer, you can simply move forward.
Divorce is a serious and complex legal process. If it’s time for you to start your California divorce, consider using a document preparation service like A People’s Choice. We can help you locate and complete the correct forms thoroughly and accurately, saving you both time and money. Contact us today to get started!
“Made the process so easy for me. Also VERY prompt replies through email. So glad I used their services.“
“Lightning fast response, I had my very simple document on the same day as my order for the very fair and reasonable price of $325 (including the rush fee!) compared to my attorney who quoted me 3 weeks and $2500. I will definitely use these folks again and highly recommend them!”
“When I first saw all the documents required to file I was overwhelmed at the thought of it all. I was already dealing with the stress of everything else and did not want to deal with the courts, a mountain load of paperwork and trips to file as well. When I looked around, I saw A People’s Choice had some great reviews and a decent price. I am VERY happy that I went with A People’s Choice. They were very, very helpful, Sandy was very nice and patient with me, despite all of my questions. With her assistance she helped to make this difficult time much easier by making the tedious paperwork process very easy and it didn’t take too much time at all! I definitely recommend A People’s Choice.”
“I was overwhelmed with my divorce,custody and child support paperwork Sandy at People’s Choice made everything so much easier and really put my mind at ease. I couldn’t be happier with their assistance and it really made all the process speed up for me. Thank you so much for all your help.”
“We love A People Choice. It’s legally run and professional. Everyone has to have a recommendation and license. Highly recommended.”
“I’m so glad I found this company to handle my divorce. They were very professional and detail oriented. They answered all of my (many) questions and kept me informed along the way. They handled everything for me from hundreds of miles away and made it pretty seamless. The pricing was in the exact range we were looking for. Very honest company and great to work with. Highly recommend them to anyone!”
“A People s Choice is a business that delivers what they promise. I was treated like a VIP by their staff and Sandy was the best. As for their services, they promptly delivered all the official documents and fillings on my behalf and their price is more than reasonable. In short, this is a business that I will always recommend and continue to use. Thank you!”
“I used A People’s Choice for filing divorce paperwork for an uncontested divorce. The price was very affordable and fair. Excellent service throughout. Not being able to call and talk on the phone worried me at first but they responded to every email extremely quickly. There directions were very easy to understand and they had no problem explaining something multiple times if I had questions or did not fully understand the directions. Will definitely use them again for any other legal documents I might need help with in the future.”
“A People’s Choice is awesome! They made the legal documentation process painless. I highly recommend A People’s Choice. The name says it all.”
“Extremely satisfied with the performance of A People’s Choice. The communication was excellent and all was handled in a timely efficient manner. “
“A People’s Choice – Saved me time, money & hardship. The people are professional and a pleasure to work with, I totally recommend them to everyone! I will used them for all my legal documents in the future. Thank you!”
“A People’s Choice is a great option to get legal documents prepared inexpensively. They offer a very professional, low-cost service for all sorts of legal paperwork, from living trusts to divorce, bankruptcy and everything in between. I always received a prompt reply to my inquiries and found the legal guide they gave me extremely helpful and informative. If you know what you want to do, don’t need legal advice and just need help preparing legal paperwork, I strongly recommend calling this company. You won’t be disappointed and will save lots of money as compared to using an expensive attorney!”
“Thank you A People’s Choice for saving me all the headaches when I thought I could save money and file my own divorce paperwork. The court clerks offer no assistance whatsoever with simple questions and handed me another packet to figure out on my own. Trust me, the best advice I can give you is to call A People’s Choice first. They typed up my paperwork and my divorce was final in two weeks! I am so grateful to them and I would highly recommend them to everyone.”
“I was very happy with the service received. They were extremely responsive by phone and email and completed the document in less than 24 hours! All questions were answered promptly. I would highly recommend this service to anyone needing a legal document prepared!”
“A People’s Choice is extremely customer orientated and friendly. Their service was fast and reliable. in the future, should I need their services again, I will not hesitate to call them. All e-mails were answered with either a phone call or e-mail sometimes even late at night“
“I would just like to comment on what a great job A People’s Choice did with my divorce. I have just received the final judgement and could not be happier. They told me up front what the cost would be. They also let me know how they keep the cost down by communicating through email. I also appreciated how when I had a question they got back with me in the day or in the evening. Thank You for you quick responses. A People’s Choice is a good deal for the consumer.”
“I was in need of some serious help and didn’t know what to do. I had contacted a lawyer and he wanted to charge me $1800.00. Then I found A People’s Choice. They were great. They got my paper work started and at a much lower cost, and steered me, with the help of lots of paper work, in the right direction. I am very grateful for the company’s services and would recommend them to any one that may need the services they offer. Thank you again.”
“.”
“A People’s Choice helped me to complete Child Custody modification paperwork. After looking online and trying to figure out how to do it myself, I decided to search Yelp for help. No disappointment here. The service was easy and painless. It might have been nice to have a discussion by phone, but it was still quite easy and quick via email. Overall, the process was simple and I would use A People’s Choice again. I am pleased.”
“The service provided by A People’s Choice was very professional and comprehensive. We have used A People’s Choice on a previous occasion and were completely satisfied. We would highly recommend A People’s Choice to anyone!“
“How much is peace of mind worth to you? This company of hardworking, caring individuals will help you get the job done in the quickest, most efficient way. Conveniently located. Check it out. Thank you!”
“I highly recommend A People’s Choice.The customer service and professionalism is exceptional. My documents were delivered to me quickly and accurately. I didn’t contact them until late on Thursday afternoon and had everything in hand to be at the County Government Center by 8:00am on Friday morning. Compared to using an attorney for complete paperwork, this service is only a fraction of the cost, more responsive, and better suited to quickly completing complicated court forms. “
“I can’t say enough about the level of service and professionalism I received working with A People’s Choice. Emails were always responded to quickly and thoughtfully. They really care about the process and helping you get the best result with no up-selling. Of course they can’t provide legal advice, but I was referred to an attorney when I needed some questions answered who was very reasonable and easy to get a hold of as well. The process played out according to plan and I ended up saving a lot of money by going with A People’s Choice over an attorney.”
“Very professional, excellent follow up and easy to work with. I will recommend them often! The staff rocks!”
“Divorce is usually never pleasant but A People’s Choice made it much easier than it would have been if we tried to do the divorce paperwork on our own. They were very quick to respond to us and always took the time to answer all of our questions thoroughly, in addition to quickly. I would highly recommend them for handling divorce paperwork.”
“I needed help understanding and filling out legal documents but I didn’t have enough money to pay for an attorney. I searched the internet for a short period of time looking for help and when I found A People’s Choice, I was relieved to know that I would get the exact service that I needed at an affordable price. The staff was very professional and helpful with my legal documents. They worked around my schedule and responded to my emails on a timely manner. They took care of all the paper work and filing and kept me posted. I would highly recommend A People’s Choice for your legal documents as you will get outstanding service at an affordable price. “
“I recently required the help of A People’s Choice, Inc. and found them to be entirely professional. Everything was done in short order yet all was explained to my satisfaction. They were friendly and courteous. I am happy and impressed.”
“This team is efficient, professional, ethical and easy to work with. Any of my questions were responded to immediately. They did everything they could to help me. I highly recommend their services.”
“A People’s Choice prepares legal documents so you can represent yourself and still look like you know what you’re doing. I used their services recently and found them to be professional as well as extremely helpful. I couldn’t be happier.”
“Super prices, great service, I can’t say enough about this place. We had A People’s Choice help us with a trust and POA. They are the best!”
“Great service. Highly professional and efficient creating legal documents. I am completely satisfied and highly recommend them to others. I am so glad I found you on the internet. People who are looking for professional legal services look no further, try A People’s Choice.”
“Can not remember how I found A People’s Choice. I think it was through a web search. In any case I found the company and have been and am completely satisfied with the service provided. The person I worked with (Sandra) was very friendly whenever we spoke on the phone and always responded promptly to any emails. The answers were always clear. The entire process was smooth and painless. I would recommend A People’s Choice without hesitation.”
“I want to personally thank the staff at A People’s Choice for making my divorce process so simple and painless . From my 1st contact in the office they were was warm and friendly and took the time to explain each step in a very simple and quick manner .Filing for a divorce can be a difficult and painful process and the staff was extremely professional and clear in all guidance and explanations. I highly recommend A People’s Choice.”
“This company is excellent! They helped me get through all of my paperwork, submitted it to the court, and now everything is complete. Everything was clear and almost too easy. I saved thousands of dollars!”
“I just recently moved to the Ventura area and didn’t know of any companies to help me with my legal paperwork. I am glad I chose A People’s Choice. They were very friendly and helped me with my documents in a very efficient way in very little time. Give them a try and you will be writing a positive review just as I did.”
“Great way to get your divorce processed without attorneys for approx. $495. There were a few small hiccups with the documents, but nothing major, which I caught when I reviewed. I am happy with their service, efficient and organized, and would recommend them for filing a divorce that is mutually settled and skip the attorneys. Note: They are not process servers, so find your own server, or if you can do it yourself and save the $$. Thanks for a job well done!”
“A People’s Choice helped me with my QDRO. They were very professional and very honest. They saved me a lot of money by having them do all the paper work. There was no hidden fees. I would recommend A People’s Choice for any of your needs. They are very knowledgeable in what they do. Thank you A People’s Choice for all your help!”
“I had the opportunity to use A People’s Choice again, Wow doesn’t say enough for the way the staff was able to get me in and out and all my answers answered. Very Professional, Organized and Friendly. I highly recommend!”
Leave A Comment